Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Where did the years go? My first 12 years or so are almost non-existent in my recollections other than the images a photo prompts. The teen years and college spent in Corpus Christi also are "faint". My real memories started with my marriage and my life shared with Bill for the last 44 years. WOW! Where did 44 years go? We were so busy with job, and children and teaching and training them and giving them whatever advantages we could, and now they are 33 and 35 and making their own memories.
At this time in my life, I am caught somewhere between being a Christian, a wife, a daughter, a mother to adult children and a grandmother. Those roles are not incompatible but they all require time, and some days, there isn't enough time in the day to do a good job of all my roles. Some days I feel like I short some of them.
With health issues taking center stage, I have to get a balance in my life for whatever my remaining "years". I want to keep my Lord and Savior first. I want to honor my husband and make our last years together be the best. I will have to juggle the rest as I have time.
Today a little chickadee hit our large family room windows. I heard it whack the window hard and I looked on the walkway decking under the window to see what it was and if it was still there injured. The little bird lay still with one of it's wings oddly bent under it. I was sure it was dead, it was so still with its eyes shut. I prayed for that little bird asking God to fill that little body with His life-giving power. I continued to watch and after 5 min or so, it moved to a sitting position. I watched a little longer but needed to feed the cats and when I came back to the window to check, it had flown away. It was a moment of knowing God cares about His creation. He cares about us, and the stressful lives we choose to live. When we "whack into the window of life", He wants to heal us and fill us with His life giving power. He wants to give us His peace. We must slow down, we must listen for the still small voice within directing our path. With His peace, we don't have to fear the "years" and what they might bring because he is with us through it all. We can rest in Him.
Thank You heavenly Father for your provision each day, and for your unconditional love that we don't deserve which is given freely to all who seek you, who believe you, and who follow you.
Monday, July 27, 2009
What does LOVE look like? When we are young and idealistic, we all expect to be loved and to find someone to love someday. We have different experiences on the road to finding that LOVE. How our family loved us or didn't love us colors our expectations. Many confuse the sharing of their body with another as love, but by itself, is shallow and self serving.
I am reminded of 1 Corinthians 13...the LOVE chapter often quoted at weddings. The Bible is actually the greatest love story ever told and it explains what real love is, and how we must learn to "give love away to get love". We are commanded to love others as Christ first loved us and to practice true servanthood for anothers benefit.
Thank You for loving us, the unlovely. Thank You for saving us. May I always have an "attitude of gratitude". It is a first step to knowing the character of God.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
What makes people desire to have POWER over something or someone? Is it related to being "self directed" instead of "other directed"? Or is it insecurities coming out to try to salve a hurt, or a past unhappy experience?
We are a BIG container of all our experiences. We have "head tapes" that rerun constantly and we are not aware of it happening. Many times our reaction to situations comes from these "old" tapes, from "old" experiences. I think these are our habits. We use the same familiar words in our relationships, we react the same because it worked for us before (or we thought it did), and we think the same thoughts and yet we expect a different result. Our habits, hang ups and hurts rule our choices. We feel powerless over our circumstances and so look for ways to boost our "feelings" of being in power over something. We often misdirect that need of being in power over something into being in power over someone.
When we feel powerless in our lives, we need to stop and check the direction we are headed and where we have placed power. Often when we feel powerless, we have taken our eyes off God and have them on the world, others and our circumstances. We need to be on track with the Lord and be found faithful. Sometimes it takes hitting a "brick wall" to wake us up, to bring about changes, to alter our thinking.
As a believer in Jesus as my personal Savior, I have yielded my life to Him. It is no longer "my" decisions that count. As my Lord and Master, He directs me. My job is to listen to the leading of the Holy Spirit, to follow what He tells me, and to make myself available for service. I am a child of the King and I don't need to have power over anything or anyone. My Lord provides all my needs and will for all of my life. I praise Him and thank Him for His abundant provision and His unconditional love and care of me. He alone is my all. It is a process all my life for Him to work in me and through me to bring about His purposes in my life. His plan is perfect for me and He alone understands who I am and how He created me. So I no longer need to worry or fear of being powerless. He is my strength and power.
Love should not seek power for self in anyway. Loving another means letting go of what I want and feel, and desire to let another have what they want, what they feel, and desire. It requires trust and believing that another person cares the same about me as I do about them. I have a stamp that says, "The love we give away is the only love we keep." So the bottom line for me is to give away power, to give away love, and in doing so, I gain peace.
As I work through some recent events regarding feeling powerless, I can have confidence that God will continue to work in me. His love is everlasting and I can rest in Him.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
You might say I am being redundant from that title but I just returned from Texas where I visited my mother for 9 days, and it was over 100 for 5 of those days. They are having the worst drought in 17 years and can only water once every two weeks on a specified day of the week. She is 88 and half of her front yard has already died and she had new St. Augustine sod put down in a checkerboard fashion ( It sends out runners and will eventually grow together.) She is having a difficult time just walking on the uneven ground and pulling the hoses and setting it up after dark. I did that job several times and was able to water twice while there. The neighbors have underground sprinklers and water every morning at 6am and so their yard is completely green while half of mom's is dead except for this new sod.
While there, I also was able to get the information mom needs for new tires and take her to the shop where she will get them ( When she gets around to it.) She has her own schedule for things and when she isn't ready or willing to do what needs to be done, it won't be done. Sounds like a lot of people in this world.
So back to the hot discussion. I have lived in MN now for 40 years and after visiting the HOT state of Texas, I am sooo thankful for MN. When I got off the airplane and was waiting for Bill to pick me up, I had to wear the new pink hoodie that Beth had bought me in Cape Cod and the cool, fresh air was wonderful. I love the temps and seasons up here, including the cold of winter. It is so much better than the HOT of Texas and all the other HOT states. Extreme HOT is NOT where I want to spend my life and I am sure heaven will be cool since the other place will be HOT! Gives me another reason for choosing to believe in Jesus! LOL Well, what do you think? Is heaven going to be cool?
There are some really sweet people who give away blog candy. They are very talented and creative and share in amazing ways...from showing us their wonderful card creations and gifts and other creations. They also from time to time give away some really nice items...stamps, card stock, paper, embellishments, punches, ribbon, markers, adhesives, and so much more. One such site is a sweet gal named Jacque who was recently asked to join a design team for several companies. I really like her work and so am honoring her by providing a link to her site, Sweet Stuff
Happy Birthday, Jacque!
Happy Birthday, Jacque!
Friday, July 3, 2009
After going south for 10 of 11 winters and leaving Apple Valley, MN for Oshkosh, WI every other month for the last 10 months, I must say that "coming home to MN" just reaffirms my feelings that MN is home to me. We have lived here since 1968 and that is a long, long time in one area. We have had two homes here, raised our two children, spent 27+ years at Northwest Airlines and then retired. Our first home we had for 17 years and the second we have had for the last 23 (and still counting). Selling the RV and getting the condo has given us another stationary home. Bill is ready to move permanently, but I am not. I still have lots of sorting and cleaning and throwing and getting- ready-to-move things to do. And there is 40 years of stuff and memories I must conquer! And it is my personal challenge for this year and maybe the next. It didn't get "collected" in a short span of time and it won't get "uncollected" quickly. That would not be realistic for me. My mom said she had some matches but was only kidding, I think.
I hope you have been enjoying my flowers from the front of the condo in Oshkosh, WI. I wasn't in MN when the flowers here bloomed. Maybe I will catch them next year and preserve their existence in photos so that when we do move, I can look back and say, " That was where I used to live".